My drupal site at http://jamesbkim.com is giving me some grief. I had originally wanted to migrate my blog to my drupal site, however the blog menu links have become unruly. I'll need to fix them at some point

About love

"I've learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it." - Einstein

"Where there is love there is no question" - Einstein

"Marriage is the unsuccessful attempt to make something lasting out of an incident" - Einstein

"In love, assurances are practically an announcement of their opposite" - Elia Canetti, Leo

"The dream is the small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanctum of the soul" - C.G. Jung, Leo

"There isn't any formula or method. You learn to love by loving - by paying attention to doing what one thereby discovers has to be done." - Aldous Huxley, Leo

"That is why marriage is so much more interesting than divorce, because it is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and comabt over everything debatable and combatable. Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life" - Ogden Nash, Leo

"Pick a man for his human qualities, his values, his compatibility with you, rather than what he represents in status, power or good looks" - Carol Botwin

"The only really unsuitable matches... are those made without sufficient money. Love may come afterwards. Money is needed to begin with" - Lewis Carroll

"Differences in taste, not in opinions, is good in love" - Kerttu Wanne, Leo

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Albert Einstein on Marriage

When you're not with me, I feel as though I'm not complete. When I'm sitting, I want to go away; when I go away, I'd rather be home; when I'm talking with people, I'd rather be studying; when I study, I can't sit still and concentrate; and when I go to sleep, I'm not satisfied with the way the day has passed. - Albert Einstein in a letter to his future wife, Mileva Maric, August 6, 1900

Like many other geniuses Albert Einstein had a dark side. He treated his first wife, Mileva Maric, a mathematician and a brilliant scientist, disgracefully. As an example read this shocking memorandum in which Albert, cirka July 18, 1914, demands in writing Mileva to obey following cruel and degrading orders as the conditions under which he would agree to continue to live with her in Berlin:

A. You will see to it that:
1. My clothes and laundry are kept in good order;
2. I will be served three meals regularly in my room;
3. My bedroom and study are kept tidy, and especially that my desk is left for my use only.

B. You will relinquish all personal relations with me insofar as they are not completely necessary for social reasons. Particularly, you will forgo my:
1. Staying at home with you;
2. Going out and traveling with you.

C. You will obey the following points in your relations with me:
1. You will not expect any tenderness from me, nor will you offer any suggestions to me;
2. You will stop talking to me about something if I request it;
3. You will leave my bedroom or study without any back talk if I request it.

D. You will undertake not to belittle me in front of our children, either through words or behavior.

Mileva Maric left Berlin with the children at the end of July.

Random thoughts:

Given enough escape from society, one can contemplate a rebirth.

If you could go back in time, how would you do it? Knowing what you know now, what would you differently?

These questions are not ones to answer, but how to accomplish it in reality.

If you start over, it's a rebirth with the benefit of your current knowledge, at the cost of the years you've lived.

You can go back in time. You can do things differently. It's just a state of mind to just start over. It's all how you look at it.

I came across a book called "The future of success" by Robert Reich. It talks about some of the trends he's noticed. He asks, if we're making more money than ever, then why are we so much more busier? Doesn't the money allow us some free time? He goes on to say that since we have so much more choice and the ability to make that choice more instantaneously, it's good for the consumer, but for the sales person, it's a really really busy day trying to retain customers.

With that though rolling around in my head, I went to do some grocery shopping and found a woman dressed in a suit and heels. I like heels so I noticed her putting her groceries at the checkout. English muffins, 5x lean cuisines, and various items that make for a quick meal.

If I had to guess, she has the same breakfast, buys lunch and nukes dinner for the entire weekend. She looked a bit aged perhaps in her late 30's early 40's. Her grocery bill came out to about $50 and she checked her receipt for the amount of money she saved. Wouldn't one think that if you wear a business suit and heels, you'd make enough money and have some time to make a proper dinner? Also at her age, doesn't she have someone to be with?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging her to see how worthless she is, I'm judging her to see how much of a victim she is. She probably has a bus life, and maybe an empty one. She looked at me as if she was wondering if I was single. I had bought bananas, grapes, and milk. It's hard to say.

Maybe she likes the busy life, I don't know. But for me, it reminds me that I would rather work to live, not live to work.

Sometimes, people don't have a choice because they are too comfortable with what they have already.

Just sitting and thinking, I came across the quarterlife crisis.

You can look it up on the wiki page, but I identify with it as being over educated or over qualified and under utilized or under paid. Basically saying, "I'm better than this, why am I not there yet?"

The first step to fixing something is identification (then assessment, procedure, execution and maintenance). I don't seem to be able to get ahead either because others are much more aggressive or that seniority is established in the industry/company and you have to wait your turn. So for identification, here's what I found so far.

1. In NY, Long Island, real estate here is very expensive. I want a house to live in to promote solidarity with my future family.
2. With the need to be smarter, I want my house to pay for itself.
3. Real estate prices here is very expensive such that a house much be bought with a dual income and the finances are over extended.
4. The houses aren't that nice either. With all else equal the quality of the house is worth a whole lot less.

I live very frugally and still, things don't seem to add up. Sure one can get into stocks and investments, work extra jobs and get income, but being in the 5th most expensive county, it doesn't make any sense to work to the bone and have nothing to show for it or have the time to enjoy the income if there is any saved.

A zero sum game that seems to turn into a no win situation.

The obvious answer is to move, however there's more to it than that. For someone who isn't saving enough to move out, how can they finance the move? They're basically stuck.

Right now, I'm currently between "Just suck it up and keep moving" and "I know there's a better life somewhere, I need to find it"

It's not enough to want more money. Need to figure out what you're going to do with that money

It may be odd to say, but I'll need to purchase my freedom. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong.

I'll need to figure what I love to do.